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How do you forgive someone who never apologized for hurting you and closed the communication?

I had a friend betray me years back. We had been friends with for 16  years. They never apologized, and it really hurt. I need to forgive them for my health, but I can’t. It seems like I am really having an issue moving on.  Should I confront them about their inability to give a damn about my feelings?

Decisions

Ask yourself three things.

  1. If you were to receive the coveted apology you desire, what would change for you?
  2. Do you have the capacity to recognize the motive behind the action?
  3. Can you be ok with never speaking to this person again?

Granted, the questions above are not easy to answer, and you may need to let them sit in your spirit for a bit before you come to an answer.

Answer

What exactly will an apology will do for you.  I have learned many things during my time as king of the dinosaurs.  One, words only have the power you give them. Two, you have some growing to do as an individual. Life is full of people who do things and could not give less of a f$%k how you feel.  The resolution to this situation lies with you. If you can forgive your friend, express your discomfort in a non-confrontational way and get the hell over it.  People like to have a warm and fuzzy answers but that just isn’t reality.

If you determine your friend has done something unforgivable, and I suspect they have, then it’s time to salvage whats left of your pride.  Forgive yourself. Why, for allowing yourself to become emotionally invested in a non-reciprocal relationship.  We have all been there, this is not an indictment of your character, but you have nursed this wound long enough.

The WWR family will have plenty to share on this one, but fear not, they will not all agree with me. What say, you people?! Leave your comments below.

If you have questions and would like to partake of my sage wisdom, come through, I have an answer.

Regg

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4 comments

  1. “…get the hell over it.” That part! They can’t let somebody else’s actions hinder them that much emotionally. If so, their problem is deeper than the person that they feel wronged by and they should probably seek the help or guidance of a therapist to figure out what that is. It sounds like an emotional break down waiting to happen if it hasn’t already. Then again, the issue could be much deeper than it appears to be; we’re not privy to more details. So if it is a situation where life and death was involved, destruction of a family, etc., forget what I said previously about getting over it. It may take a little more than that, but even if an apology is not given they still need to find some way to cope. I would still say, GO SEE A THERAPIST because life goes on with or without you. Just my two cents.

    1. Natalie my kindred. We were thinking much of the same. I try to be moderate in my response but shit, the feel, felt thing is what put us here to begin with.

  2. A family member of mine well through marriage but netherless said most people don’t give a f if you mad. As harsh as that was it was nothing short of the truth. It’s hard I’ve struggle and still do with this but when I’m usually over myself my final question to myself is are they worried about you? Usually take answer is no so at the point it’s time to just let it go.

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