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I had cooked some spaghetti for my husband since he had come from the job, but he didn’t like the taste and he yelled at me “this is shit” and he threw the plate against the wall, it was all broken and made all the wall dirty with tomato sauce. He then made me clean everything and kept on insulting me.

The answer

My answer to this has a couple of different parts.  When I first read this I kept thinking, how do i respond to this without being a condescending a**hole.  I still don’t think I came up with an a response that really fits that category, just know that I’m doing my best.

Initially, let’s focus on is the language in your question.  You intimated you’re experiencing an overwhelming sense of helplessness.  I have talked with many people who have expressed this sentiment.  It sounds like this situation could escalate, unexpectedly, and in a dangerous way.  If this could potentially be true, you need to seek help, to fix the situation or get out of it, quickly.

This is not normal behavior:  Adults don’t throw dishes.  Most of all, they certainly don’t throw dishes at those who prepared a meal for them.  When you say you had to clean it up, is that like you had to because he didn’t?  Where you forced to clean up without your consent? Normally I would share a story relating scenarios to the submitted questions , but in your case, I just don’t have one.

Honestly, I’m not really qualified to answer your question in a way that is meaningful, or goes beyond ” Girl fuck him get out of there!”. I will leave you with this, get help, professional or otherwise.  I want you to know you have options, and that you don’t have to live in fear.  We care.

We Care

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