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Who asked you anything

Constrictive Criticism
” I didn’t ask you nothin”

OK, I admit it.  I am really bad at this.  Whenever I’m offered unsolicited feedback, my natural response is almost never positive.  If you want to rub me the wrong way, give me your non-essential opinion and I will give you something to remember.  Just thinking of it now created a reactive response.  I’m sure there are many who feel just as I do, but we know better so we have to do better. Constructive criticism is a tool for growth. WE ARE GROWING

We should interpret criticism as a spotlight moment, especially when it is constructive.  Remind yourself “hey, this is all about me and I am being given an opportunity to do better”.  It is our job as productive people to find weaknesses and areas of improvement.  I was near choking during every moment of typing that last sentence, however, i know that every word of it is the truth.  During this time of growth, I ask that you not judge me, we all have our “struggle’s” and this is one of mine.

Upgrade your wiring

In “The Evolution of Self”, Dr. Leon Stelzer says, ”

 Very few parents are enlightened enough, or sufficiently skilled, to carry out the kind of “loving correction” that doesn’t end up making us hypersensitive–and therefore over-reactive–to criticism. As a result, negative judgment we receive as adults can automatically remind us of the inadequacies we so keenly felt when criticized as a child.

In other words, we come with bad wiring from the 60’s. 70’s, 80’s that we have to continue to upgrade to comply with current standards. Our “faulty wiring”, is exposed when we are criticized / judged. This is not a moment when you get to blame your parents for you bad behavior.  This is when we understand the “why” behind our behavior.  Once you understand why you do what you do, it is easier to repair / eliminate undesired behavior patters. Own it, fix it, move on.

Can I trust my ears, of course I can

Change the way your listen: That moment when you know the next words out of your boss’s mouth will be ones make you want to stare at him as if you could sear his flesh from his face with your laser vision…Don’t.

Constructive Criticism
Replace the Natural Response

Don’t react, listen intently.  Imagine that he/she wants to help you be your best. Even if that isn’t their goal, treat each moment as a learning opportunity, you will always be the beneficiary of your life lessons.  If there is any chance of changing our behaviors, we are going to have to begin by practicing self-validating behaviors.

Constructive Criticism
“Don’t Fight It”

Stop allowing negative thoughts to circle around your mind repeatedly.  Instead, remind yourself that you may not be perfect, but you are a far sight better than you were 5 years ago.  Find the receipt for all the insults and insecurities you’ve collected over the years and take that shit back to the store, you don’t need it anymore!

The second part of this article is coming soon!  Be sure not to miss any updates.  Keep up with all the latest transformative information.  SUBSCRIBE TODAY!

 

10 comments

  1. This was an excellent read and actually very helpful. I am going to try this and see how it goes. I’ll keep you posted.

  2. Very informative and helpful. The wiring piece is so on point its ridiculous….It’s easy to say oh, that’s just the way I am instead of thinking why am I this way and I think we all have been at a place where we have felt like we are not up to par but I have some receipts and I’m taking some things back to the store. Loved It !!
    Thanks Regg

    1. I agree with you completely. I am not the best at this but I’m working on it. My folks were not trainers “electricians”. 😂😂😂

  3. Great read! I enjoyed this post. Now I don’t have a problem with “Constructive Criticism” but I do have a problem with “Negativity masked as “Constructive Criticism””. I am always willing to learn and correct but don’t add your sly remarks, your negative thoughts, and your unsolicited advice. If you are going to help, help. I say cut that negative mess out!

    1. I say you are on target! Constructive does not equal having a slick mouth. That will get you quite a bit more than you bargained for. Thanks for sharing!

  4. I was torn between giggling and rolling my eyes the whole read! Lol. I could relate to so much of what you wrote, and of course saw many opportunities for self-improvement. Thanks!

  5. Pride (the bad kind) and a lack of humility can make it hard to accept counsel or criticism no matter how tactfully or kindly it is given. I try to neutralize them when/if I see them getting ready to rear their ugly heads in my personality. Not always easy, as you’ve noted. On another note…

    I’m not sure I agree entirely with the statement that “VERY FEW parents are enlightened or skilled enough” to give correction in a way that doesn’t damage a child later. I’m not a parent. But the statement just seems so sweeping and presumptuous. No parent is perfect. God knows my parents made serious mistakes while doing their “jobs”. But how much can they really be blamed for? Sometimes you just gotta own your own mess. LOL!

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